Friday, October 31, 2014

So...that sucked.

Hi everyone.

It happened. It was horrible. And it's going to happen again, soon (date not yet confirmed).  It was NOT what I expected; it was WORSE.  I have a headache from endless crying, but I think I needed to get it out. I was sad. Now I'm mad.

I'm mad because the truth is being twisted. I'm mad because there are apparently hidden agendas and vendettas at play. I'm' mad because things are being horribly misconstrued.  I'm mad because although lip service is being paid to how much this is supposedly in my kids' best interest, their stability and emotional well-being is obviously not being prioritized.

It threw me off because I wasn't expecting these types of tactics; I'd assumed we were all going to operate with integrity.  Now, however, I know what I'm working with.

One of my dear friends took my daughter out to a Fall Festival tonight, and my husband spent time with our other kids. This allowed me the time to crawl into my bed and weep. I needed that.

But now that the tears have dried up, I'm fighting mad. They'd better watch out. Because I'm going to use this anger to fuel me in the next stage of this situation. I will remember how they did us and how little regard was given to my boys' feelings. It will only make me press on all the harder.

And I'm not going to let them take another day away from my family. I am taking these kids out tomorrow. I'm not going to spend the day crying and sad; we're going to go somewhere and DO something, darn it. I don't know what exactly, but I'll figure it out, because we are going to keep living.  We have to.

I appreciate the love and support you all have shown me through this. It ain't over. And it will NOT beat me. I want my life back. So I'm taking it back, by force.  I might experience some doubts and sadness along the way, but I am going to CHOOSE to keep going.

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